The Jon Venture

Dear Wii,

Last year was a hell of a year in our relationship. After we, well… after I broke up with you, we spent a few nights together and made some mistakes I’d rather forget. We endured the year and ended on a much better note, though that single experience can’t account for all of your shortcomings. I kept in touch because you remind me of someone I knew years ago, who loved to have fun and knew exactly how to get my attention. Those nostalgic kicks were the foundation of our relationship, and our latest little fling reminded me again how much I loved spending time with you. It was just you and me… and the return of Travis Touchdown.

No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle is a sequel to the 2007 action hack-n-slash game developed by Grasshopper Manufacture and published by both Ubisoft and Rising Star Games. Once again set in Santa Destroy, California, NMH2 sees super otaku and wrestling mark Travis Touchdown climbing the ranks of the United Assassins Association after walking away from the top spot. A master of the beam katana, “The Crownless King” Travis Touchdown utilizes the best tech he can get from local (curvy) genius Dr. Naomi to seek revenge after the brutal murder of his best friend Bishop. It just so happens the same man who ordered the hit, Pizza Batt, Jr., runs the city and is the top ranked assassin in the world. This convenience doesn’t make his ascension any easier; there are now 50 assassins to take out before reaching the man responsible for Travis’ current desperate struggle.

Don’t roll your eyes like that, Wii.

Desperate Struggle’s director, Suda51, employs a similar tongue-in-cheek style throughout the game. Suda51’s humorous fan service and pop culture references, blended into a compelling revenge storyline akin to Tarantino’s Kill Bill film series, make this one of the most entertaining gaming experiences on any current platform. No More Heroes 2 should be in your system right now.

The reason behind such high praise, Wii, and the reason I left Captain Shepard to deal with his own issues on the Normandy, is that No More Heroes 2 mixes up both comical and cinematic noir sequences with visceral action. Not the “pew pew!” action of galactic laser combat, but the satisfying feeling of watching an enemy’s severed head bounce off your blade and slicing it into bite-sized pieces when it talks back to you. Punching female news reporters in the face and making love to cybernetic space aliens is passé. Decimating an entire squad of cheerleaders and making momentary love to a seductive yoga instructor modeled after Scarlett Johansson is where it’s at.

The presentation of No More Heroes 2 has been greatly streamlined from the original to optimize the experience. Rather than making multiple trips through an awkwardly rendered city with choppy graphics, No More Heroes 2 bypasses the whole task in favor of a menu with available locales to visit and jobs to complete with minimal loading in between. I honestly did not miss making trips around the block on Travis’ Schpeltiger bike, though it still makes an appearance in a few key portions of the game. Most of the jobs that Travis can take in NMH2 are simple 8-bit games that provide a surprisingly fun distraction from the flurry of neon lights and blood that usually take up most of the screen. I’ll not ruin the surprises, but I had plenty of success laying pipe for hours at a time.

Santa Destroy’s most notorious killers were a bit more manageable after implementing one of the many new weapons in No More Heroes 2. Travis’ new elongated beam katana and highly publicized dual wield beam katanas accompanied the standard and slightly upgraded models, but I just spent the majority of my time wildly slashing with the quicker twin blades and bypassed the rest. There were new wrestling finishers included in NMH2 also, which added some of Suda51’s unmistakable personality into what could have otherwise been a very straightforward slash fest. Finishing opponents with either one of Travis’ wrestling moves or dismembering them triggered a chance to enter Darkside Mode and use even wilder powers to take out the horde. My favorite, by far, was Cranberry Chocolate Sundae, in which Travis transformed into a tiger and I ravaged all but the fiercest of enemies. There were thugs to be hacked and had a few memorable boss battles in NMH2, both essential components of the winning formula from the previous title. Between a grueling battle against a sniper, a John Woo style motorcycle duel, and piloting my own giant mech, I had much more fun battling bosses now than the last time I carved a bloody path through the ranks of the UAA. I was never worried about initial replay value either, because upon completing NMH2 I was able to challenge each boss again and complete the game in a tougher “Bitter” mode.

Unfortunately, there were some “improvements” made in No More Heroes 2 that the game could have definitely done without, namely, any hero other than Travis Touchdown. The sequences with Scarlet “Shinobu” Jacobs serve as great plot devices but add unnecessary frustration to the game. It is in these levels that the game’s awkward camera controls made jumping from box to box more difficult than it should. Henry, Travis’ Irish raised twin brother, is only playable in a single forgettable level despite his crucial supporting role in NMH2 and a memorable battle in its prequel. I understand how the popularity of these characters in the original game led to larger roles in Desperate Struggle, but their levels could have easily been reduced to glorified cutscenes.

Look, Wii, I know that this is probably a mistake, and I should listen to my friends and better judgment, but after spending a few nights with you and No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle I’d like to keep in touch. Not like I usually do, with my passive aggressive messages and indifferent attitude, but developing a gaming relationship based on trust and understanding. I trust that you will deliver a few incredible games each year like Desperate Struggle, but you need to understand that this relationship is over after E3 if all you’re willing to put out is shovelware. No More Heroes 2 reminded me why I brought you home in the first place… please don’t let me down.

Loving and Hopeful,

Jon Venture

P.S.- I found this video from our night together. You probably shouldn’t watch it at work or with little ones nearby.